Why I love them so much!!!

For the past month we have started a new tradition at our house that the kiddos are loving! They call it "Friday night pizza night." It works like this...the kids and I go to the video store where they fret over exactly which movie to choose and after 30+ min we exit (with video in hand). Daddy meets us at home with pizza which we piggishly eat (because they are excited to watch their movie, and for me...well...I will piggishly eat anything that I don't have to cook) Then we make some popcorn and sit down to watch the movie while spilling our bowls of popcorn on the floor. Well, this week Brian had told the girls that after "Friday night movie night" they could have a slumber party in our bedroom. The girls were so excited and decided to plan breakfast in bed for us. They warned us ahead of time and promised to not wake us before daylight. So Friday night I excitedly crawled into bed while Brian and the girls snuggled on the floor. (Love my husband but having the bed to myself was a dream). Saturday morning the boys woke up around 7 and these two girls sprung into action! They told us to stay in bed while they got the boys up. Sounds dreamy, right? Well...after several minutes of feeling quite nervous about the level of "care' the boys were receiving, kam came upstairs and exclaimed "don't worry...Niki put Jaxon in the highchair without even hardly dropping him!" This prompted Brian to run downstairs to find Jax covered from head to toe with sweet potatoeours and half falling out of the highchair. After "rescuing" him, he was told to return upstairs for our "breakfast in bed". The girls reappeared shortly with our lovely meal! We each got a bowl of raisin bran (with very little milk). Niki apologized for this saying that she poured all the milk in daddy's bowl but realizing that she couldn't open the new gal of milk, resorted to pouring half of daddy's (soggy) cereal into the other bowl for me. After the cereal they presented us each with a chocolate protein bar (taken out of the wrapper but tied with curling ribbon) and for the "big finish" we each received a bowl of popcorn and pretzels with a piece of candy on the side. It's hard to be excited about leftover popcorn at 7am but the sweet little people that gave it to us were so excited! The best part of it all - when Niki said "Do you guys know why we did this for you? Because we love you so much!" And this is why I love THEM so much!

Jaxon Gram Miller

This sweet little guy came into our lives six week sooner than expected. July 31, 2009 Jaxon Gram was born into our family. He weighed 4lb and 14oz. He was only 17 inches long. I guess he wanted to follow in his big brother's footsteps by arrianriving early, and while we were prepared for the possibility of an early delivery, nothing could have prepared me for how fast the delivery would be. We did not waste any time in leaving for the hospital at the first sign of labor, and we still barely made it to GGH. I was already pushing when we pulled into the ER and (since Brian had called ahead to warn them of this) the ER staff came to the car to meet us, prepared to deliver the baby. We did make it up to the OB floor but shortly after, I delivered this little guy, still in my own clothes. Both Brian and I were in complete shock. He was not b
reathing well at delivery and was taken away to be worked on immediately. It was several hours before I was able to hold him but I cherished every second of it because at nearly 6 hours old he was transferred to Memorial hospital of South Bend.
Because I had not been released yet, Brian made the trip to Memorial to be with him
Jax spent 11 days in the NICU before coming home. The main reason he was transferred from Goshen was because he had fluid his lungs and they were underdeveloped. Once these issues cleared up, he mainly needed to learn to eat without a feeding tube. He actually seemed like a giant compared to most of the babies in the NICU next to him. (The baby next to him was born weighing 1lb. 4oz and was the smallest surviving baby in the region) As thrilled as we were to take him home, we actually felt a little guilty because some of the parents had been there for months and still had no idea when their baby would come home.
This picture was taken on the evening that Jaxon came home. I think that the picture says it all. We were exhausted and excited, all at the same time. Things are running a little smoother now than they were 6 weeks ago, but everyday is still a challenge filled with happiness and complete chaos all mixed together. I wouldn't trade it for the world. When we got married 9 years ago, we couldn't have imagined the journey that we would go on while creating our family. Through it all - God is good! I love my four little munchkins that God has given to us on this earth and can't wait to hold the sweet ones that he has taken to heaven. We are so blessed!

Happy Birthday Ethan

(ABOVE) Big sister Kamryn decided that she would like to give Ethan this (loud and annoying) bell for his birthday! She said that he would love it because it makes a lot of noise...and you know what? She was right! He was thrilled!

(BELOW) Ethan sporting the "birthday hat" that Nicole had made for him! Anyone think it's a little too big for him? NAH!





It's so hard to believe that this happy little guy is the same 4lb baby that we brought home from the hospital on an apnea monitor only one year ago! Amazing!



Lovin that chocolate cake! Ethan did a great job of destroying his chocolate cake! (Much to my delight). I have choosen chocolate cake for all of the kiddos 1st birthdays because, let's face it, white cake just doesn't show up as well on a white child!


So loved by his big sisters! This little guy is so lucky to be loved and adored by his big sisters! They are both always trying to do whatever they can to entertain this little man! He is so lucky to have them!

Big sister's idea of a teething toy

This sweet baby boy, will not be my baby much longer! Late this summer we will be adding another little one to our family. Boy? Girl? Not sure...CRAZY DAZE? Yes, that I am sure of! We are expecting this little one to debut around the middle of August if things go as planned! This will mean that the Miller clan will range in age from Niki (6), Kam (4), Ethan (15 months) and newborn! Wow! I think I can work up a bit of panic just thinking about it! Amidst the swells of panic that occasionally sweep through our minds, we are truly excited! We've had a few uncertain moments where the health of the baby was in question, but at this point things are looking good and we are believing that God is in control and we don not need to worry! (Or atleast that's what were trying to tell ourselves!) The girls are truly excited and can hardly wait! It's amazing how much they comprehend at their age!

I know that this may sound a little crazy (after reading the previous paragraph) but in spite of the fact that we are definitely in the midst of raising little ones, and at times overwhelmed, I am still very aware of the fact that time is flying by and our little ones will not be little ones for long! I'm sure that this is due, at least in part, to pregnancy hormones...but still it makes me sad! Here's a shout to Kim Huffman...Brian and I bumped into your parents at breakfast this morning and not only did they offer encouragement on raising four children...but your mom also encouraged me to blog! My excuse lately has been that every free moment i can find is spent napping! Anyway, All of that said, I came home and started reading some blogs! I haven't caught up on anyone's blogs lately, but as i was reading back on Kim's blog, I was so caught up in what she had said about living in the present! I too feel like I'm constantly either looking to what's ahead or saddened over the fact that life is flying by and i get so caught up in those feelings that I miss what's all around me today! As my loving and blunt friend (no names - HA!) told me yesterday...Pull your head out of your *** and enjoy your kids today...who cares if their growing up...it's a stage and that's part of life...NOW ENJOY IT!

Yes...I know Christmas is over

As I was looking back on my camera today, I scanned through my Christmas pictures and decided to post a few of them. They're definitely not your traditional "Christmas" pic's, but I had fun looking at them again!


Kamryn, in one of her happiest places in the world to be...Grandma's lap! Every time the family is together, the girls will run around and play, but they always seem to end up in the same place before the day is over...Cuddling on Grandma's lap! What lucky little girls! (This pic was taken at Brian's aunt Edna's house where the Miller's celebrated Christmas)

And now on to some of goofy ones! The grandkids (on my side) got a big thrill of all going to the dollar store (weeks before Christmas) to pick out their own gifts for mammer and popper! They had no guidance whatsoever and were told to pick whatever they thought that mammer and popper would like! The gifts for mammer ranged from a porcelain doll to a cereal bowl and princess mirror. Popper's gifts started out as somewhat useful...tools, mouse traps, wood glue...and then came Jarett's gift. Jarett (5 years old and hailing from Iowa) is the youngest of 4 who has learned that the best way to get attention is to make everyone laugh! He gave popper what he described as "Bling-Bling" and yes...he did make us all laugh! Popper proudly wore his goft for the rest of the night!
Uncle Chris hanging out with his little buddie (Ethan) who, of course, needed to wear his Iowa shirt to please his big cousins!
And last, but not least of my favorite Christmas pictures, is this one! Nicole insisted that this is the card that she wanted to get for her daddy! After trying (and failing) to steer her in a different direction, this is the card that we left the store with! Daddy (who has a similar sense of humor as Niki) was well pleased with her choice and thanked her! (The inside of this card reads..."Hope your Christmas is all it's cracked up to be!" For those of you who missed it, take a good look again at Santa's back side!

Baby Braden

It was so thrilling for me to be able to hold this sweet baby boy on Friday night! I am still so amazed that after months of worrying...here he is...and doing just great! Such a little miracle!



Not much to say, other than I'm thankful for the way this has all turned out and I'm thrilled to be an aunt again (for the sixth time).

Brrrrr...

Much news at the Miller household, but just not enough time to tell about it! The past month has seemed like an absolute whirlwind...Christmas and New Years was a complete Blur! We had out of state family here and spend about five days together with both sides of our families! It was a blast, but also exhausting! The big news has been in the making for quite some time...we've been awaiting the arrival of my new nephew! Finally, after 2 months of bed rest and 2 weeks in the St. Joe hospital (for my sister), Little Braden Dean Stout has arrived! He was six weeks early but is doing remarkable well! I have been able to see him, but have not yet been able to hold him! (I'm hoping to get to tonight) I can't wait! His big sister Gabi is pretty excited too! Anyway, since my sister has been in the hospital (both before and since Braden's birth) Gabi has spent quite a bit of time at our house...much to her cousin's delight! Last night however, we were all wishing we were anywhere but "at our house"! Brian and i were tuckered out and in bed by 9:30 (very unusual) and by 10pm we awoke to everything in our house powering down! (Funny how that wakes you up, hun?) Yep...that's right...NO ELECTRICITY! We waited about 30 min and then decided it was time to pack up! My cousins' (Todd and Cindy) who live just across the field, still had power so we bundled up (2 adults, 1 baby, 2 sleeping daughters who were very limp, and one crying and scared niece) and headed to Todd's 4 the night! Cindy and Sarah were waiting at the door and even came out to help unload. (Keep in mind that by this time it was after 11PM and nearing 30 degrees below!) Yikes! Miraculosly, as soon as we were inside, the girls percked up and started playing! Imagine that! Finally around midnight, we were all settled in when (Light bulb moment) i realized that I had packed formula, cereal, diapers, and wipes but no bottle! Poor daddy! I'm sure he was cold when he drove home to get a bottle! (Love ya Brian) Anyway, sometime after 12:30 we did all fall asleep again, and settled in for the night (or shall i say morning?) 3 1/2 hours later, Brian crawled out of bed and headed back home to check on things! (Once again...love ya babe!) Around 8 AM, after Cindi and I had our coffee, I realized that even a honda dosen't start when it's been parked outside in 30 below temps! Thankfully, after talking to Merle Mullet, I gleaned a few tips on how to get it started! YIPPEE! We ended up coming home to a warm house with electricity! And in all of this, all I keep on thinking is..."I'm so glad that I'm not a NIPSCO employee!"

Kids take us so literally!

Cookie Baking Fun

Brennan and Sawyer were over the other day and we decided that it would be fun to decorate some sugar cookies! Of course, you can't start decorating until you've tested the product...right?


What started out as simply frosting the cookies...
and adding a few sprinkles...
...ended up like this! This was kamryn's "pile of creation". They had no problem with piling aprox. 4 inches of sprinkes on top of the cookies! Where there is a will...there is a way!
This was Brennan's finished product. To my eyes, the one cookie looked a bit like a watermelon, and the other looked a bit too much like there had been a rodent nearby that deposited some droppings!
After all their hard work, Kamryn decided to sink her teeth into one of those delish cookies! (Just imagine all of the grit she had to bite through just to get to the cookie!)
I thought this pic was just too funny! I'm not sure if the cookies left a bad taste in her mouth, or if she was just plain exausted after all of her hard work!
The little guys weren't completely left out of the action though. Sawyer hung out in the kitchen with us...probably finding enough sprinkles on the floor to delight him...and Ethan...well
Ethan didn't get to help out as much but he was a happy little camper hanging out in the living room! I love watching this little guy smile. He can be as mad as can be...but the moment you smile at him, he will instantly grin back! I just want to sqeeze him...in a loving way of course!
Quote of the day:

ME: (after watching Kamryn finish up her ice cream cone at McDonalds) I think that I should go up and order an ice cream cone for myself too! Don't you think I should Kam?

KAMRYN: Well, you can mama, but don't you think you should get some ice cream too cause just a cone would be gross!

(The lesson in all of this...say what you mean because they'll take you literally!)

American Girl

Our weekend suprise in Chicago
(My sisters Shelly and Tami hanging out in our hotel room and catching up)



My sisters and I had a ton of fun suprising my mom with a girls weekend away in Chicago. She thought that we were headed to my sisters house in Elkhart, but instead we drove to Chicago where we met up with my sister from Iowa and her girls. It was a lot of fun and the little girls had a riot being together with their cousins!


Here is a picture of "mammer" with her precious granddaughters. I'm not exactly sure when this pic was taken, but I know it was sometime after midnight!

And what slumber party eould be complete without some good old "jumping on the bed?"These crazy girls were wired and going strong! They were swimming until 10pm, followed by a late night pizza snack and jumping on the bed. We were still heearing giggles from them at 2am! (Oh to be a kid again)


Despite the fact that they only got around 5 hours of sleep, these girls were all smiles and ready to hit the road running immediately after breakfast! We planned to spend the day at the American Girl store and the girls were so excited!


The girls really enjoyed the experience of riding on the bus...so much, in fact, that when we now see the trolley driving through Goshen, they ask if we can please park the van and ride on that "city bus" like we did in Chicago!

Ally and Kamryn...doing what girls do best...SHOPPING!

Poor Kamryn...tired of shopping!(And getting a little lovin from mammer)

The girls were so excited to eat our lunch at the store. There was more pink then I could have ever imagined and this delighted the girls!
The food was delicious...which was wonderful because we were incredibly hungry! We had cinnamon roles, veggies, cheese stuffed soft pretzels and food kabobs...then they brought out our menus. Whew!


One of the neat things was all of the accomodations that they made for all of the dollies! (I know...it's a doll store...but it was still so amazing to see the creativity!)

By the time our day had ended, the cousins were sad to see each other part ways, but they were all thrilled with the fun time of being together...not to mention the things that mammer purchased for them! They were exhausted...but happy! Very happy! The adults had a great time being together also, but it was so cute to hear my mom gratitude for the suprise weekend, followed by this comment. To us girls- "Thank you so much for suprising me with this weekend. It was a lot of fun, but just please take me back to the country!"
Something that my sisters and i don't get enough of is time spent together! I'll cherish the memories of this weekend for a long time.

Going...Going...Gone

My kiddos could definitely use this phrase to describe their mother over the last month...GOING...GOING...GONE! I feel like I've been spending a good portion of my day lining up tomorrow's sitters! The last month has been a whirlwind, but filled with a ton of fun! While mommy has been off having fun... daddy has been taking care of the 3 little munchkins. (He has had quite a bit of help from his mama though)

Niki had to make a hat for the VOCABULARY HAT PARADE at school! I was filled with (what I thought were wonderful ideas)...but Niki did not agree and had her mind made up on this! She used the word BABY and opted for pic's of Ethan to describe her word. She was so proud of her work!

I thought that we've been in a pretty good bed time routine...but we obviously kept Kamryn up too late this night! I mean...C'mon...Who falls asleep while eating pizza?
"Mr. MOM"
On October 19, I officially entered the last year of my twenties! Brian and I celebrated by spending time in Ft. Wayne shopping, eating and out for a movie! (followed with a late night Krispy Kreme snack). Time alone seems like something that we never have enough of so this little get-away was wonderful!

Treasures beside the bed

I know that some of you are probably wondering if i'm ok or if aliens have taken over my body. It is totally out of character for me to post twice in one week let alone twice in the same day, however, i just thought it was to funny to pass up. I just went upstairs to put away some of the girls laundry and found these items in between Nicole's bed and the wall!

*Container of dental floss
*Dove deoderant
*play $
*2 "zoo pals" paper bowls. (These were food dishes for her imaginary kitty)
*numerous paint samples that they hocked from Menards
*a contact lens case
*American girl doll
*Lip gloss
*many misc. magazine clippings...mostly of babies or things pertaining to babies
*a box of blank thank you cards
*her sister's piggy bank
*misc. hairclips/jewelry
*a paper pumpkin
*25 articles (yes I counted the entire pile) of her baby brother's outgrown clothes which I'm assuming she was keeping for her baby dolls! AAHHH...the treasures of a little girl!

Ironically, I thoroughly cleaned her room on Monday, thus mwaning that she accumulated this collection in a short3 days!

I've been tagged...and I'm not even sure what that means!

I guess that being "tagged" means that I'm supposed to respond to these questions!

Eight things that I did yesterday
1. Was awake from 1:45 am - aprox. 5:30 am with a sweet baby boy named Ethan who obviously felt like spending some quality time w/his mommy! (is it still considered QUALITY time when mommy is slumped over on the couch and keeps saying..."baby boy...WHAT DO YOU WANT?"

2. Slept for an hour and 15 min

3. Got up to get Nicole ready for school

4. Put Nicole on the bus and crawled back into bed

5. remembered that i forgot to tell Brian (AKA the "trash man") to take out the garbage, thus leaving it for me to do

6. Decided that catching some zzz's before the other kiddos woke up was too lofty of a dream, so I cleaned out my garden beds instead and pulled some weeds in my tea patch!

7. Spent a good portion of my day (on the couch) trying to figure out why i was still awake instead of in bed...then it came to me...IT'S BECAUSE I'M A MOTHER!

8. Ate a nutritious dinner at Taco Bell (technically it was food FROM T.B., but it was consumed in the car) and then got groceries with my hubby only to end my day by falling asleep on the couch watching the Pres. debate! What an exciting day!


My eight favorite places to eat (in no particular order)
1. At home around a Papa john's box of Pepp. Pizza
2. Red lobster
3. Olive Garden
4. Margaritaville
5. my mother - in law's kitchen table
6. Any place with a playland (really some days it has absolutely nothing to do with the food at all!)
7. Chicago house of Blues
8. Ruth's Chris steakhouse (only been there once but loved it!)


Eight of my favorite TV shows
1. CSI
2. Entertainment tonight
3. Dancing with the stars
4. Oprah
5. American idol
6. The office (should have made this #1)
7. The evening news...yes i do like the news! just wish it was more uplifting!
8. old episodes of ER

Eight things that i look forward to
1. A night out with Brian on Friday
2. Fri-Sat-Sun
3. Watching my kiddos grow up
4. Sleeping in ...someday!
5. Sleeping all night!
6. summer coming back again!
7. Decorating for Christmas
8. Life after death!

Eight things that i would have on my wish list
1. A weekend away filled with scrapbooking, massages, facials and shopping with intermittent breaks to see my husband and kids. (Did i say a week-end? cause i meant a week!)
2. Getting back into shape...or atleast better shape
3. For all of my kids to have a relationship with the Lord
4. For all of my kids to marry wonderful Christians and give me lots of grandbabies!
5. For all of my kids to live close by! (One of my biggest fears in life is that my kids will move far away - sounds crazy I know, but I'm gonna have a really hard time letting go!) Nicole has already agreed to either live in our bonus room with her hubby or build a house in the field! I'm sure those of you with teenagers are laughing at me thinking "just wait til those kids get a little older!"
6. Having Ethan potty trained
7. Long, beautiful hair extensions (natural looking of course) and the ability to transform "My do" for any given occasion, with only the click of my heels
8. BABY # 4. (But I don't think that this will happen, atleast not unless Brian's wishes change or unless I...no ...better not...a good submissive wife should not resort to trickery...should she?

And now I am supposed to tag some others! Hhhmmmm...
1. Wanita
2. Jessi (just for good measure even though you've already been tagged)
3. Heather
4. Rose (I know...i know...no tag backs!)
5. Jen

LETTING GO...even if it hurts!

My sweet little Nicole came home from school yesterday, smiling the entire walk up the drive. She was so proud to have brought her school pictures home to mama! She took her good old time getting them out of her backpack, loving the excitement from little sister and me! I was thrilled to see them and was actually quite pleased that it was actually a good picture, capturing my truly happy and (Mostly) innocent baby girls smile! It still seems a bit strange to think that Niki is actually in school every day and I think that the hardest thing for me to accept is that she is under someone else's influence for so much of her day! (Guess that's not al-together a bad thing) but any sort of change is hard for me to accept...especially letting go! When her first day of school arrived, she was so excited that I really didn't even have time to be sad. But after the bus pulled away and we walked up to the house... I didn't know what to do! Brian pulled out of the driveway, mammer left with Kamryn, and aunt Tami and cousin Gabi also left - all within a few minutes of each other. I remember still smiling as I walked back inside the front door, but by the time I made it to the kitchen, i had burst into tears! I felt so un-needed and alone and so i woke my sleeping baby and snatched him out of his bed...atleast he needed mama...right? Looking back over the past month, I actually think that I've adjusted fairly well but some mornings (like these) I just miss my baby girl!

All smiles with that Kindergarten grin


A quick picture with mommy and daddy on her first day of school

Daddy giving all of his last minute advice as they walked out to the bus


Seeing this big yellow bus drive away with my baby inside, made me want to secretely stalk the bus all the way to the school! Nothing wrong with that...is there?

THOSE GOOD OLE HOT DAYS OF SUMMER

This was Brian's clever idea...
Attach the slip & slide to the end of the swing set slide! The funniest part was when the girls would get to the end of it and continue sliding on the grass! (It does not sound so funny now...Guess ya had to be there!)
A good portion of our July was spent at swimming lessons,

and the fair. After all, who can resist an elephant ear and some deep fried wisconsin cheese? (Actually, the cheese makes me sick, but it's a favorite of Brian's.)
We went to the fair several times, but the highlight for the girls was spending kids day there with cousin Gabi and aunt Tami. (This pic is yet another thing at the fair, that makes me natious)

Our entire summer has seemed very busy, and yet we didn't do anything major (well aside from adding another member to the family.) Some of the best moments were the times when we were actually able to slow down and just "ENJOY LIFE." On this particular Sunday, we spent the evening at Brian's Aunt Edna and Uncle Dale's pond to let the girls try out their new "Fishing Equipment". Brian had fun using his "expertise" to teach the girls to cast out, and they actually did a pretty good job! I mainly enjoyed the quiet evening and had fun snapping pictures!


Kamryn and cousin Adam had no fear of the worms. In fact, Kam was quite intrigued! Mommy and Nicole, on the other hand, thought they were disgusting! I know...I know... it's just a tiny worm...but they're still gross!
The Prize catch! Both of the girls caught several fish. Since we were throwing them back into the water, Niki had the fun of even catching the same fish twice! (Silly fish...must not have learned his lesson the first time!)
Towards the end of the evening, we noticed that Kamryn was having a little "heart to heart" with Uncle Dale. She was really taking in all that he was saying...but his nice and shiny bald head was such a distraction...
...She just couldn't resist!